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<p>I am a very practical person. I do not believe in randomness, or coincidence. I believe that God is sovereignly in control of all things. All things. All the time. And so, I have the habit of looking for the lesson in anything He allows me to experience. This time, I could not find it. Knowing that physical pain is just a consequence of living in a fallen creation makes it hard to redeem it for any spiritual purpose, I thought. Having not been tested in this way before, I could not make sense of it</p>
<p>About a year ago, a friend asked me if I wanted to take part in a local charitable effort. It was something that I had always been interested in and seemed like a group doing good work, so of course I jumped at the chance. No sooner than the first email exchange concluded, I knew that I had made a terrible mistake.</p>
<p>This last week was a rather stormy season for me emotionally. Wind. Pelting rain. Thunder. Lightening. Hail. And yes, the possibly of a tornado.</p>
<p>Are you a worrier? Has anyone just told you flat out that worry is a sin? Worry is a great tool for our enemy. He keeps us so wrapped around the axel that we can’t see which way is up for imaging what might happen if we take our eyes off the imaginary balls we’re juggling. Stop for just a second and let your worry creep in… See how easy it is suddenly to lose sight of God?</p>
<p>In my own kitchen, I have a very particular way about things. I also have a method when I cook or bake that involves making a hot slinging mess across every conceivable surface. Sometimes my husband wants to come in to the middle of the slinging and begin to “help”. Can I just tell you how insane it makes me? Do you need me to explain, ladies? Sometimes it's hard to know when to help and when to get out of the way, but I find that as in the temporal so in the spiritual.</p>
<p>I’ve been reading a book lately that is way above my pay scale, but I’m plowing through. From the first chapter it has been all up in my business and I’ve had to put it aside several times while I simmer down. It has held a mirror up to a corner of my life that I thought was a non-issue. I am deeply convicted. And deeply conflicted.</p>
<p>Sometimes when I walk, my husband walks with me. (See my last article for how that goes. He’s a runner. He has very quick pace. Need I say more?) I walk head down, literally, because I can’t see much without my glasses and I need to concentrate! He walks head up looking around, noticing things. He often gives me the play-by-play about the morning dog party, what bird is singing, what neighbor is traveling, and yard maintenance. One thing we both notice is a squirrel plummet.</p>
<p>I walk every morning. Every single morning. I can’t remember a day that I skipped. I will skip many things, but I dare not skip my walk or I might never get started again – a body in motion and all. I have a love hate relationship with my walk. But what I really hate about the walk is when there are other people out walking at the same time.</p>
<p>When you begin wearing trifocals, your brain has to adjust more than your eyes. Your eyes just keep working like they always have but your brain has to learn new pathways that tell it to ignore those little lines that distort your vision as your eyes pass through them. One of the strange side effects then is that when you take them off, your brain superimposes those lines on your eyes like little shadows. That’s what made me begin to think that what we set before our eyes has tremendous impact on our brain.</p>
<p>I’ve been – is meditating too New Age to say – ruminating on my last article and the fact that I believe it’s truth but I still can’t do it effectively. I’m trying. I’m really determined to let God accomplish some things in me, and that’s a biggie.</p>